Expanding Horizons

In my new lab I have a set of skills that no one else has. That's been really fun! I love what I do and I really love that no one else does it. I like getting to explain my work to the group and being able to provide my PI with data he wouldn't have been able to get otherwise.

But, part of the plan when I took this job was that I would bring my skills and that I would, in exchange, learn some of theirs. It sounded great! It still sounds great in theory.

The problem is that I'm not really into what they do. They do some cool work, don't get me wrong, but it's just not work that I've ever been interested in. Not only that, but it doesn't really compliment the work that I do.

Well things have been going on in the building (construction), that has made it impossible for me to do the work that I like to do. I have a TON to do, but the materials I work with are sensitive to vibrations and the jack-hammering that's been going on makes it so that I can't do what I want.

This construction will likely continue until the end of the month. And while I would love to just spend my time working on my 'manuscript that just won't go away', I have to do something else. I just can't sit at my desk any more.

So I'm trying to learn some new techniques. It's hard though. It's just not that interesting. And I feel like a fraud. I've always loved my research and worked very hard to make sure that I really only did things that were interesting. Of course as a grad student I've done stuff that wasn't thrilling, but for the most part, I've really been into my research! My philosophy has been that research is hard enough without really liking what you're doing, so you had better LOVE what you do. And so far it's worked.

But not now.

It feels like whining to complain about not really liking what I'm learning. But that's how I feel. I'll do it, because the work has to be done and there aren't a ton of people to do it. And I'll learn new things because, as my PI tells me, it's time to expand my horizons...but it's so hard to fake it!

There may be some interesting posts in the next few weeks as I push myself out of my comfort zone and try this new stuff. I'm sure to have some great stories about my epic failures. And that alone may be good for me.

But I really don't want to.

I'm going to be a grown up and do it...but it's just so hard for me to not love what I'm doing.