- I had a conversation this week that for the first time got me thinking about women in science. I've never felt like being a woman changed the way my work was seen or how people interacted with me. But I had a conversation wherein a senior researcher in my area described another female scientist to me in a way that, while very kind, made it clear that this other woman was kind of a bitch and insecure. Now I know that he meant this as just a way for me to understand this other woman's approach and as a warning of how to interpret interactions with her in the future. But it made me wonder, would he ever describe a male researcher in the same way? There's a long blog post in there somewhere, but I have to keep thinking before I can get it out.
- Lab notebooks, is there any 'best' way to keep one? I've been trying different methods for years now and I'm still not sure if there's a really good way to do it.
- Working with and living with your partner can be challenging. When things are good, it's awesome, but when things get a little weird at home, it makes going to work even weirder.
- My undergrad helpers are awesome! They are considerate, polite, hard workers, who work really well together as a team. I'm so proud of them! Not sure how I managed to make this work, but I have some theories on why they are doing so well...that may be worth writing about.
- I'm missing home. It doesn't happen often, but every once in a while, I miss my old school. I miss my old friends, my old coworkers, I miss knowing how everything worked. I miss all of it right now. No real reason, things here are great, I just miss that comfortable feeling you get when you are in a setting that totally makes sense to you and where you are around people you have known for years.
- Balance. How the hell do you do it? I need to learn how to balance my life. I either feel like I'm totally wrapped up in work, or that I'm blowing off work to spend time on things outside of it. I need to learn how to balance the two.
- Focus. I seem to have lost my focus entirely. I can't make myself focus for more than a few minutes before my mind wanders and I'm off checking email or facebook. How do I make myself stop doing that? The answer may be more caffeine. I have to figure that out too!
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Too many thoughts
I've had a lot of ideas for blog posts lately, but haven't been able to get any of them onto paper in any meaningful way. So here are some random bullets of things I've been thinking about and that I hope to flesh out in longer posts later.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Note to undergrads working in labs:
It is really not cool to come in in the morning wearing the clothes you so obviously wore 'out' last night.
I appreciate that you are going home to change during the waiting periods of your experiment, but....
Could you not just pack a change of clothes in your car/bag so that when you wake up, wherever it is that you wake up, that you would have clean clothes to put on before going to work?
Now you are an adult and can therefore do whatever you want, but...I hate that the other people in the lab are talking about you and the wardrobe changes between the morning and afternoons.
I hired you because you are amazing and this does not change my opinion of your abilities in the lab. In fact, I'm impressed that you are coming in before going home, that's awesome!
I just really hate how it makes you look. And I'm sad that it matters, but it does...
Just a thought...
I appreciate that you are going home to change during the waiting periods of your experiment, but....
Could you not just pack a change of clothes in your car/bag so that when you wake up, wherever it is that you wake up, that you would have clean clothes to put on before going to work?
Now you are an adult and can therefore do whatever you want, but...I hate that the other people in the lab are talking about you and the wardrobe changes between the morning and afternoons.
I hired you because you are amazing and this does not change my opinion of your abilities in the lab. In fact, I'm impressed that you are coming in before going home, that's awesome!
I just really hate how it makes you look. And I'm sad that it matters, but it does...
Just a thought...
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Attitude
It seems like it's that time of year again, when new people arrive to work in the lab.
This is interesting. Last year I was one of the new people so I didn't get to observe things the way I do this year.
Some thoughts:
1. I think it's best to come into a new place humble and willing to learn. I find it amazing how many people show up seeming to think they know everything already. Now, I am willing to admit that I don't know how much of this attitude is just a defense mechanism / a way to make themselves feel better. Regardless, I can't make myself like/respect these people. I just can't relate to it.
2. How much of the attitude a new person adopts has to do with the person training them? There are 2 new people here that I'm thinking of. One being trained by a quiet diligent worker and one being trained by a loud, fairly lazy worker. It appears at this point, that they are adopting the attitudes of the people training them. Is this the case? Or do they get assigned to be trained by people that the PIs think are most like them? I don't know if there's an answer to this question, but I'm curious to see if other people see this too.
3. Smiling makes a huge difference in how I see people. Of the 2 new people, one smiles all the time, the other doesn't. I like the one that smiles and really dislike the one that doesn't. Is this just me too?
4. I'm sure there is a TON of social psych research on this topic, but it's amazing to me how I decide a person's merit and worth based on their outward attitude and appearance. Maybe I'm shallow, but the new person who is cranky and frowning all the time...I just don't like them. They've been here a few weeks and I've tried, but I can't get past the outward attitude.
I guess what I'm saying here is what has been said a million times in other places...attitude is everything.
I've just never seen it presented quite like this before.
This is interesting. Last year I was one of the new people so I didn't get to observe things the way I do this year.
Some thoughts:
1. I think it's best to come into a new place humble and willing to learn. I find it amazing how many people show up seeming to think they know everything already. Now, I am willing to admit that I don't know how much of this attitude is just a defense mechanism / a way to make themselves feel better. Regardless, I can't make myself like/respect these people. I just can't relate to it.
2. How much of the attitude a new person adopts has to do with the person training them? There are 2 new people here that I'm thinking of. One being trained by a quiet diligent worker and one being trained by a loud, fairly lazy worker. It appears at this point, that they are adopting the attitudes of the people training them. Is this the case? Or do they get assigned to be trained by people that the PIs think are most like them? I don't know if there's an answer to this question, but I'm curious to see if other people see this too.
3. Smiling makes a huge difference in how I see people. Of the 2 new people, one smiles all the time, the other doesn't. I like the one that smiles and really dislike the one that doesn't. Is this just me too?
4. I'm sure there is a TON of social psych research on this topic, but it's amazing to me how I decide a person's merit and worth based on their outward attitude and appearance. Maybe I'm shallow, but the new person who is cranky and frowning all the time...I just don't like them. They've been here a few weeks and I've tried, but I can't get past the outward attitude.
I guess what I'm saying here is what has been said a million times in other places...attitude is everything.
I've just never seen it presented quite like this before.
It worked
Quick update...my experiment from last week worked.
Well, to be more correct, the first one from last week worked...the second one, not so much.
But this is progress.
Well, to be more correct, the first one from last week worked...the second one, not so much.
But this is progress.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
I did it!
Well, as promised, it's time to blog about my first attempt at this new technique.
It went...well let's say that it was a medium success.
Not bad for a first attempt...at least I think it's not bad.
So this new technique is supposed to be really simple. I mean REALLY simple. It's supposed to work ALL the time.
My first attempt was last week...I got in early, did some prep and then started. It was SOOOO much harder than I thought it would be. I've been watching people do this for weeks now so I thought I knew what I was doing. -Why don't I believe my own advice? I tell my undergrads all the time that watching and doing are very different and that even though you think you know how to do it when you are watching, that you don't really know until you do it. - This is good advice...I might should listen to it sometime.
Because boy was it different! The first big difference is actually using some of the equipment. It's really really really old. I thought I knew how to work it, I mean I'd watch people do it a bunch of times. Shocker...I did not know how to use it. I had to get someone to show me again! But after doing it, I think I might finally, actually know how to use it! PROGRESS!
Then it was on to actually running the experiment. WOW. The people I'd watched have been running this experiment for YEARS and they just made it look so easy! They alwasy had plenty of time, were totally calm, and just walked through the process. That's not so much how it went for me. I was frantic! There are a lot of time-sensitive parts of this experiment, requiring the use of 3 different timers...that was new all on its own. But to keep that many moving parts clear in my head and to be able to remember what came next was so much harder than I thought.
Without having done it before, I also didn't know just how to set everything up. So I didn't know how to operationalize things or how to multi-task. That meant that an experiment that should have taken a few hours took me ALL DAY LONG! I didn't eat lunch until late afternoon and I have never been so tired! I felt like I was running around the whole time!
And, to top it all off. That experiment, the one that is supposed to work ALL the time...it didn't really work. It kinda worked, in that the drug did what it was supposed to, but the whole thing was about an order of magnitude off of where it should have been. Fun right?
So I did it again today. It went so much better! I felt mostly calm (there were still parts that freaked me out) but it was SO much better than last time. And...the best part...check it out...I was done by EARLY afternoon! This means that I shaved HOURS off the time it took! Now does that translate into decent results? I'll know tomorrow. But for now, I did it!
Today I was all by myself. I planned it so that I would have to be by myself. It's too easy to ask for help if people are around, so by planning to do it when no one would be in the lab, I forced myself to figure it out. This is always the best way for me to learn. I never really learn things until I do it myself. **This has been the story of my life by the way, and a post for another day.**
But I did it! Today, from start to finish, I was on my own and it went well. There is still plenty of room for improvement, but it was a million times better than last week.
So thank you blog, for being a place for me to record this monumental event. Today, I ran my first biochemical assay all by myself! It feels so good to be able to say this. It means that I'm not stuck, that I CAN learn new things, and that even if I don't care at all about something, I still have the ability to force myself through it and come out successful on the other side. I tend to forget that I can do that.
This is a big day for me blog. A big day.
-----The results will be ready tomorrow. I'll let you know how it went...
It went...well let's say that it was a medium success.
Not bad for a first attempt...at least I think it's not bad.
So this new technique is supposed to be really simple. I mean REALLY simple. It's supposed to work ALL the time.
My first attempt was last week...I got in early, did some prep and then started. It was SOOOO much harder than I thought it would be. I've been watching people do this for weeks now so I thought I knew what I was doing. -Why don't I believe my own advice? I tell my undergrads all the time that watching and doing are very different and that even though you think you know how to do it when you are watching, that you don't really know until you do it. - This is good advice...I might should listen to it sometime.
Because boy was it different! The first big difference is actually using some of the equipment. It's really really really old. I thought I knew how to work it, I mean I'd watch people do it a bunch of times. Shocker...I did not know how to use it. I had to get someone to show me again! But after doing it, I think I might finally, actually know how to use it! PROGRESS!
Then it was on to actually running the experiment. WOW. The people I'd watched have been running this experiment for YEARS and they just made it look so easy! They alwasy had plenty of time, were totally calm, and just walked through the process. That's not so much how it went for me. I was frantic! There are a lot of time-sensitive parts of this experiment, requiring the use of 3 different timers...that was new all on its own. But to keep that many moving parts clear in my head and to be able to remember what came next was so much harder than I thought.
Without having done it before, I also didn't know just how to set everything up. So I didn't know how to operationalize things or how to multi-task. That meant that an experiment that should have taken a few hours took me ALL DAY LONG! I didn't eat lunch until late afternoon and I have never been so tired! I felt like I was running around the whole time!
And, to top it all off. That experiment, the one that is supposed to work ALL the time...it didn't really work. It kinda worked, in that the drug did what it was supposed to, but the whole thing was about an order of magnitude off of where it should have been. Fun right?
So I did it again today. It went so much better! I felt mostly calm (there were still parts that freaked me out) but it was SO much better than last time. And...the best part...check it out...I was done by EARLY afternoon! This means that I shaved HOURS off the time it took! Now does that translate into decent results? I'll know tomorrow. But for now, I did it!
Today I was all by myself. I planned it so that I would have to be by myself. It's too easy to ask for help if people are around, so by planning to do it when no one would be in the lab, I forced myself to figure it out. This is always the best way for me to learn. I never really learn things until I do it myself. **This has been the story of my life by the way, and a post for another day.**
But I did it! Today, from start to finish, I was on my own and it went well. There is still plenty of room for improvement, but it was a million times better than last week.
So thank you blog, for being a place for me to record this monumental event. Today, I ran my first biochemical assay all by myself! It feels so good to be able to say this. It means that I'm not stuck, that I CAN learn new things, and that even if I don't care at all about something, I still have the ability to force myself through it and come out successful on the other side. I tend to forget that I can do that.
This is a big day for me blog. A big day.
-----The results will be ready tomorrow. I'll let you know how it went...
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Where to do a post-doc?
So I've been reading a lot of blogs lately that have been talking about where people do thier post-docs. And whether or not the institution matters as much as the lab.
It's been making me review the decision I made a year and a half ago. I'm very happy where I am and of the choices I had, I really think I made the right one. But it was HARD!
I got a lot of advice from a lot of different people.
I was fortunate. I had choices, which in this job market and this economy, is no small feat. I'm not sure how this happened. In my field I'm really behind in publishing. I mean REALLY far behind. And I was told repeatedly that it would hurt my chances of finding a job. ---In my defense, and I'm pretty sure that this is why it didn't matter, my lab just wasn't publishing a lot. Like maybe 3 papers in my 8 years. So I suppose that my lack of publications may have been chalked up to my lab. We'll see.
But I also came from a lab that wasn't well known. My PI wasn't a superstar, or a rising star. He was just, him. A nice guy who just started to fall out of love with science. I thought that would be a problem too...but it wasn't.
I did the job search almost entirely on my own. Well, really, all on my own. I started because I just got fed up with being a grad student and wanted to know if there were any options for me. So I emailed my research idol to thank him for a protocol he made available and then mentioned that if he ever needed a post-doc to let me know.
Well holy crap, it worked. We started emailing and decided to meet at a conference. The meeting went well and I was invited out to give a talk and see the lab.
While I was going to this conference, I decided to put my CV up on their job searching site and got another interview through that. It was with a lab that I had never heard of and didn't know anything about, but I figured I'd interview anyway. What could it hurt? I met with the PI from this lab at the conference too and had a great chat. It was interesting and the PI was really nice! Within a week I had an invitation to go out to see the place/give a talk. ---Spoiler alert---This is the job I have now.
Over drinks with my PI at the conference I was told that I hadn't applied for enough jobs and that I really needed to do more if I ever wanted to actually get a job. So I applied for a job at an Ivy League university, that I never thought I'd get. This way, I thought, I can say that I applied for more jobs. Well, suprise suprise! I got a phone interview. Which turned into a visit out to said amazing university.
The visits all went well. I gave talks at all of them. Got to experience each place, and decided, much to my suprise, to take the job with a lab that did some completely different work than mine and was a job I'd never even really thought to consider.
The whole point of this post, is to say that I had some faculty members on my committee who thought I made the perfect choice, and some that thought I'd made a HUGE mistake by not going to the Ivy League school. The truth is that the lab at the Ivy League school just wasn't a good fit for me. I didn't really like the PI and the research just wasn't that interesting to me. But I was told over and over that it didn't matter what the research was, that I really needed to have that school's name on my CV.
It's too early to tell if that's true. I'm only a year into my post-doc and don't really know yet what the next job search will look like.
I guess I just really wanted to say that all of this talk about institution vs PI/lab for post-doc has gotten me thinking again.
I'm still really sure I made the right choice, but sometimes, I do wonder...
It's been making me review the decision I made a year and a half ago. I'm very happy where I am and of the choices I had, I really think I made the right one. But it was HARD!
I got a lot of advice from a lot of different people.
I was fortunate. I had choices, which in this job market and this economy, is no small feat. I'm not sure how this happened. In my field I'm really behind in publishing. I mean REALLY far behind. And I was told repeatedly that it would hurt my chances of finding a job. ---In my defense, and I'm pretty sure that this is why it didn't matter, my lab just wasn't publishing a lot. Like maybe 3 papers in my 8 years. So I suppose that my lack of publications may have been chalked up to my lab. We'll see.
But I also came from a lab that wasn't well known. My PI wasn't a superstar, or a rising star. He was just, him. A nice guy who just started to fall out of love with science. I thought that would be a problem too...but it wasn't.
I did the job search almost entirely on my own. Well, really, all on my own. I started because I just got fed up with being a grad student and wanted to know if there were any options for me. So I emailed my research idol to thank him for a protocol he made available and then mentioned that if he ever needed a post-doc to let me know.
Well holy crap, it worked. We started emailing and decided to meet at a conference. The meeting went well and I was invited out to give a talk and see the lab.
While I was going to this conference, I decided to put my CV up on their job searching site and got another interview through that. It was with a lab that I had never heard of and didn't know anything about, but I figured I'd interview anyway. What could it hurt? I met with the PI from this lab at the conference too and had a great chat. It was interesting and the PI was really nice! Within a week I had an invitation to go out to see the place/give a talk. ---Spoiler alert---This is the job I have now.
Over drinks with my PI at the conference I was told that I hadn't applied for enough jobs and that I really needed to do more if I ever wanted to actually get a job. So I applied for a job at an Ivy League university, that I never thought I'd get. This way, I thought, I can say that I applied for more jobs. Well, suprise suprise! I got a phone interview. Which turned into a visit out to said amazing university.
The visits all went well. I gave talks at all of them. Got to experience each place, and decided, much to my suprise, to take the job with a lab that did some completely different work than mine and was a job I'd never even really thought to consider.
The whole point of this post, is to say that I had some faculty members on my committee who thought I made the perfect choice, and some that thought I'd made a HUGE mistake by not going to the Ivy League school. The truth is that the lab at the Ivy League school just wasn't a good fit for me. I didn't really like the PI and the research just wasn't that interesting to me. But I was told over and over that it didn't matter what the research was, that I really needed to have that school's name on my CV.
It's too early to tell if that's true. I'm only a year into my post-doc and don't really know yet what the next job search will look like.
I guess I just really wanted to say that all of this talk about institution vs PI/lab for post-doc has gotten me thinking again.
I'm still really sure I made the right choice, but sometimes, I do wonder...
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Working
Well, I've started learning the new technique that I didn't want to learn. It's not as bad as I thought it would be. It's not super fun, and I'll probably NEVER do it again, but I will say that it's nice to learn something new.
It's been a while since I've learned something completely new and I had forgotten about how much fun it can be. That is once I've gotten over how stupid I feel.
We'll see..should be an interesting few weeks. With any luck I'll get to run an assay by the end of the week and I can then regail you with amazing stories of my screw-ups.
Wish me luck!
It's been a while since I've learned something completely new and I had forgotten about how much fun it can be. That is once I've gotten over how stupid I feel.
We'll see..should be an interesting few weeks. With any luck I'll get to run an assay by the end of the week and I can then regail you with amazing stories of my screw-ups.
Wish me luck!
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